Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Now That's Progress

Hey now, this is different? do you remember when i used to do these comics all the time? Well, okay, maybe not all the time, I did one or two, they were fun. I wanted to make this joke with Dave, but it doesn't have anything to do with music, or cats, or ... well, pop culture as a general rule. SOMEONE had to tell it, and that someone had to be me, and MC Cheshire Grin. I actually stole the joke, from a rapper named Random, who Chesh knows, or knows by reputation, I have no idea. I dunno if he authored the joke, or if it's a widespread internet thing, either way, I'll just play it safe and say that the concept of the double meaning of the word "burn" as it applies to the Qur'an and CD-Rs was not a magical stroke of genius by me, I took that joke and told it this way... and that's what comedy is all about, right? Stealing jokes.
I have absolutely no shame.
I feel kinda bad breaking up the continuity of Dave the Cat, especially so close to the end, but I've been upholding a very fine tradition of 9-11 comics for... well.. okay, two years now, I've done a grand total of two completely tasteless 9-11 jokes, one of which involves a poke at the Muslim Holy Book. Why me? Because Marilyn Manson won't do it. That's right, you heard me! Manson feels A-OK ripping the shit outta the bible, but he won't touch the Qur'an! Probably because he doesn't want to be murdered. Rip up the bible and a bunch of snot nosed born-agains make a bunch of signs, or some hilarious youtube videos, and it's all comedy and peaches and gravy. Burn the Qu'ran? you get General Petraeus jumpin' down your throat, along with the FBI and the rest of the Army... and that's if you're LUCKY. If you're not lucky, you get death threats from radical fucking fundamentalist Muslims, or worse yet, assassination attempts, OR assassination successes!
It's weird that we all have this kinda disconnect between the Bible and the Koran. They're both highly revered Holy Books by major religions, but one of them is okay to destroy and the other is not. What's up with that? I would say we need some Christian suicide bombers, because most problems caused by violence can be solved by violence, this is what television has taught me. However, suicide bombers are a cliche now, it's 2010 for cryin' out loud, we need to think outside the bomb, i mean box! Here's my idea, and maybe this is a little radical, but hear me out, it's one of those "it's so crazy it just might work" kinda deals.
What if... everyone... just chilled the fuck out? Hm?
I know, it sounds insane! But just push that outta your mind for a second and think about it.
If no one cared if Holy Books got destroyed, then... it wouldn't be a big deal! If it wasn't a big deal, then people wouldn't make a huge spectacle out of it, and if it weren't a huge spectacle, there'd be no need for the Army, and the death threats and the what have you.
Marilyn Manson taught us that if you rip up the Bible enough times, eventually people will stop caring.
So what's the solution?
Burn LOTS of Qur'ans?
Draw LOTS of Muhammad Cartoons?
Sexy bikini girls washing a car with a burqa?
I'm not sure, I feel like I may be rambling... I guess what I'm trying to get across is this.
Religion is fake.
Science doesn't Work.
The world makes no sense.
Let's just have fun with it, okay?

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