Tuesday, June 21, 2016

I WAS IN A MUSEUM TODAY!


While not the first time Knave Murdok has had a gallery opening, it IS the first time for TransCat! So that's actually pretty exciting! The official opening was this Friday at the Cartoon Art Museum at their new location on 934 Brannan St.. If you are in the Bay Area, check it out, as far as I know, the exhibit is still open! Go! Look and see!
In conjunction with the gallery opening was a small comic convention. The Queer Comics Expo. Hosted by the museum itself, it was my first time ever tabling at it, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I gotta say though, I am so glad that it was what it was. I don't think there were any more than 20-30 exhibitors, but it was so well attended by such enthusiastic fans! People who knew my work well and couldn't wait to catch up on the new issues, plus tons of people who'd never heard of me before and were eager to find out. I don't think there was a single hard sell during the whole weekend. Everyone was just genuinely really interested. That's a far cry from most mainstream cons, even a con like GamerX!
I think I made a lot of new fans, and more importantly, lots of new friends!


Check me out up there! Very seldom to a I post pictures of myself. I'm a secretive trans like that. But I was having such a good time at the con, I actually allowed myself to get in front of a camera this time.

Apart from being a gallery opening and a convention, the event was also a celebration for the official shipping of the Alphabet Anthology, which I and dozens of other talented artists took part in. If you pre-ordered a copy, you should be gettin' yours soon. If you didn't, don't worry! They're gonna make it available to the general public very soon! I know I've been pimping this book for a long time and it just hasn't been available yet, but the good people at Prism are doing their best, despite many setbacks. Worry not! Your time will come!

If you'd like to nab ANOTHER compilation with an exclusive TransCat story in it, check out this year's edition of BAAU Down! One of TransCat's many "Pencil Adventures" comics made it into print for the first time for this one.


I know what you're thinking, no, this sexy cat girl on the cover is NOT an artist rendering of TransCat :P She just so happens to be a DIFFERENT cat girl, so don't get too excited!

What else is new? Sac-anime is in a month and a half! I'm doing my best to work on finishing Issue 8 before then. Shouldn't be too difficult a task in the amount of time I have, but sadly, it's one of two major projects I've juggling right now. I have yet another TransCat appearance in an upcoming compilation/zine/thing. Pray for me, folks.

Last thing, I just wanna re-iterate that I'm still offering A FREE TRANSCAT PRINT to anyone who donates to the Pulse Victims Fund.
If you're in the Sacramento area and wanna see me at Sac-Anime, I might even bring some of these prints with me, just in case you wanna get one in person.

Here's the gist of it! Donate to the Go Fund Me. Take a screen cap of your receipt, like so:


...and send it to either my EMAILFACEBOOK, TWITTERTUMBLR or my INSTAGRAM.
Include a shipping address, and I'll ship this wonderful new print to you <3 br="">I will be running this promotion until they reach their goal.
ANY donation amount will get you a print! i know not everyone can give a lot, and I don't want to exclude anyone from getting this print just because they're not a person of means.
So donate early, as much as you feel comfortable with, and receive this free gift from me.
BTW: I'm not in any way affiliated with this charity, i'm just doing my best to pimp it.
Thanks for the listening! And I'll see you guys soon!

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Today, of all days...


So I normally don't do more than a post in a month unless something breaking happens.
I was gonna do an update on Monday, talking more about Queer Comics Expo and the gallery showing, but it all seems so trivial now.

I'm sure if you're an internet junkie like me, you've seen the news about what happened in Orlando last night at the Pulse night club. If not, here is the quick and dirty breakdown.
A homophobe murderer was so offended by two guys kissing that he decided to open fire inside one of the biggest gay clubs in town at the height of pride week. Fifty dead, fifty-three more injured.

Naturally the news is taking this opportunity to talk about gun control, about terrorism, about anything and everything they can so they don't have to talk about homophobia.They wanna call this guy an ISIS member, even though if you take a look at his life, he wanted to be a cop. No known ties to ISIS from him OR his family. The guy's dad even went on record to say they were not a religious family. This guy radicalized all by himself, and he did it right here in the United States of America, where he was born and raised.

It's a saddening state of affairs, that's become all too common. While our focus drifts outwards, our enemies inwards find time to strike.

It's a sad day, no doubt. A day so sad that it almost seems disrespectful to just wake up and go about your business, continue to live your life like nothing happened. But that's what we gotta do. Especially now, at this time, the height of Pride week. I've spoken before about my thoughts on Pride, and what the event has kinda turned into and why I don't enjoy it. But at the same time, I very much recognize it's reason to exist. It exists because we were tired of being attacked. So we took to the streets and started marching. And as you do when you're worried about your life being taken from you at any moment, to tend to bring the party with you while you're marching. Now would be a terrible time to cower. People want us dead all over. Just the other day, a Target got it's bathroom literally bombed! Someone set off a bomb because of Target's more welcoming policy towards trans folk using their bathrooms. A FUCKING BOMB!
Then there was the guy in LA they caught with a truckload of guns heading for Pride there!
Trust me when I say this is not the last attack that'll be coming from these animals, so if you are marching, please stay safe.

So what do we do now?
Well, there's already a blood drive going on for the survivors. There are plenty of donors there, despite the fact that the FDA still refuses to allow gay men to donate blood. That's pretty fucked up.

I was thinking I wanted to donate somehow to something, and hopefully not jump through the hoops of an organization that is still upholding homophobic rules while trying to help homosexuals.

Then I found the GoFundMe page for EqualityFL

They are collecting funds to help go towards the families of the victims, for counselling, legal aid, and more.
I made MY donation:
...and I'd like to urge you all to do the same.
To sweeten the deal, I'm willing to offer you THIS!

Make a donation! Any amount will do! Then take a screen cap of your receipt.
You can EMAIL it to me!
You can post it on my FACEBOOK page!
You can @me on my TWITTER page!
You can mention it to me on my TUMBLR page!
Or you can @me on my INSTAGRAM page!

PM me a shipping address and I will send you a signed print of the image at the top of this page!
and if you don't wanna print, feel free to donate anyway. i'm not actually affiliated with this group at all, I just wanted to rep them.

I'll see you guys later. If you need me, I'll be at the only queer club in town for their karaoke night, singing my heart out to some protest songs.

Once again, here's that LINK




Wednesday, June 1, 2016

O, What A Day For A Fanime

I'm sure you're noticing that amazing photo front and center of King Ghidorah flying over Freddy Mercury in mid-high note. I gotta sat, I've been to a lotta conventions in my time and I've seen a lotta things, but this might be the coolest goddamn thing I've ever seen. I now want both of these action figures so I can recreate this scene in my room.
So! Fifteen years at Fanime! What a ride it's been!
In case anyone was wondering, no, I did not get a table this year. But let no one say I didn't attempt every road that was available to me! I even went to the Artist Alley ops table and asked if I could buy an empty table then and there. They turned me away with a very curt "we aren't selling any tables at the con this year". I can dig that, even though i had all my paperwork handy and all my comic stuff with me, I can see how selling off abandoned tables at the time of the convention could become hectic and hard to keep track of. And for an organization as regimented as Fanime is, if that's an extra hassle they just didn't want to take on, I can totally understand that. I was just a little miffed that the empty tables in the hall remained empty for the entire weekend :P
THAT COULDA BEEN ME!!! >:D >:D >:D

There's always next year...


Note to self for next year though! The growing prevalence of fanart in the Artist Alley has reached record levels! I walked through the whole thing several times during the weekend and took careful note of what I saw. There was nary a booth to be seen that didn't prominently feature some kind of fan art. Not to mention, only a scant handful of booths there featured original characters or original stories at all. I personally am not a huge buyer of fanart. I have no connection to it. If I like a character or a series and I want to buy products with that character's image on it, I'm going to try and buy it from the person who created it, or at the very lease the company that has the proper distribution deal for that character or series, so that I know, in some way, shape or form, that the original creator (or at least their estate) is still seeing something in return for the work they put in to making that character/series, and making it a thing.
While I admire the skill and dedication fan artists put into taking these already existing characters and either recreating them to the best of their ability, or re-framing them in a different style, or creating a clever mash-up or parody with them, the idea of such a thing does not translate itself into a product I feel I want to purchase. I doubt I'd ever hang fanart up on my wall, or wear it if printed on a shirt. At best, it's an image I feel like I'd like to have saved on my hard drive, just to reference and laugh at once in awhile.
The one exception i feel like I'd make to fanart being a purchasable product would be fan comics. Granted they're very illegal to make and sell, but at a place like Fanime, you can get away with shit.
I saw someone who had made a short Sailor Uranus / Sailor Neptune fan comic called "Cousins". I didn't buy it, but it was interesting. It was an example of a thing I MIGHT have bought. I remember back in the day, at a past Alternative Press Expo, my friend John bought these two manga style books about General Xiaou from Avatar: The Last Airbender. It was a story about what might have happened to him if he survived his ship sinking in the North Pole. It was pretty creative.
So yeah, despite not really having a connection to fanart, I feel that next year, when i create my portfolio for the Fanime board to review, I should definitely include some. Reel them in with a little bit of fanart, then hit 'em with TransCat when they're least suspecting it >:D
I've always prided myself on my ability to adapt, and if this is the way to make my portfolio more noticeable, then by gum! I'll do it!

IN EITHER CASE!
I'm not too bitter about not having a table this year.
I was kinda ambivalent about it in the weeks leading up to the con. I kinda felt like i wasn't gonna get one, but I was still committed to trying everything I could to get one.
But I found up not getting one, which meant I was free to chill with friends, explore the con, stay up till the early morning and sleep till noon! Stuff i haven't been able to do at Fanime for 9 years! It's crazy to think about, but I've been tabling at Fanime, and cons in general, for 9 years! :O THAT'S INSANE!
When I think about that number, I truly am grateful I got to attend Fanime this year as something other than an artist. I got to vote in the Anime Music Video contest, I saw the Masquerade, watched some cool new stuff in the theaters, participated in Karaoke, wandered around, bought stuff, actually hung out with friends! It was very much like how Fanime used to be! A nice nostalgic reminder. I got an opportunity to TRULY tire myself out! I must have walked the equivalent of 100 miles around the massive convention hall, not to mention the distance we walked in between the convention hall and other places! Here I am two days later and I'm still exhausted. Exhausted in a good way though.

I'll be right back in the Artist Alley circuit in two and a half weeks though! The 18th and 19th will be my first appearance at Queer Comics Expo, which will become the OFFICIAL debuting spot for TransCat #7, even though it's been available at my Shop for a couple weeks now, which by the way, if you don't have one already, go get it NOW! :D . Then after that I'm just two and a half months away from Sac-Anime which I'm hoping will be the place I can debut TransCat #8. It shouldn't be a problem, I don't think. I'm almost halfway through it. My main obstacle is I keep picking up side projects to do. Simultaneously working on two different magazine projects AND the "No Son Of Mine" one-shot comic. Also, a secret project which I hope to reveal sometime next year~!

That's about it, my little buckaroos.
I'll keep you updated on new stuff as it occurs.
In the mean time, here's a list of new anime I saw I want you all to check out:

"Don't you Know? I'm Sakamoto"
"Katanagatari"
"Lily C.A.T."
"My Love Story!!"
"Yamada and the Seven Witches"
"Your Lie in April"

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Just One More Quick Thing!


So as I mentioned before, I'll be tabling at the Queer Comics Expo at the Cartoon Art Museum this June, on the 18th and 19th.
What I don't think I've mentioned before is that on the 17th I will also be at the Cartoon Art Museum (New Location at 275 5th St. San Francisco) for a gallery opening, featuring a lot of the artists who contributed work towards the Alphabet Anthology this summer. Just in case you forgot, I am among those artists!
Official invites have not been sent out yet, but I wanted to give my fanbase the heads up, so they know what to expect!
If you're in the Bay area in California, please come check us out! Both the gallery AND the convention! i'm certain it will be a blast!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta finish getting ready for Fanime tomorrow ;-)

Don't forget to pick up your copy of TransCat Issue 7 from the Shop!

Monday, May 23, 2016

AS PROMISED! TRANSCAT #7

As you can see here from this Actual Footage™, TransCat #7 is very real, and is about to hit shelves. And by "shelves" I mean you can order it from my Store right now, and it will be coming to Northwest Press and Comixology very soon!

Normally, when a new issue comes out, I hold off on putting it on my store for a little while since I tend to schedule my book releases around convention time, in this instance it would be Fanime. However, since I am still on the Fanime waiting list, I'll just throw this up now. That way, if i never make it to the Artist Alley, it's still 100% available for you. I've heard it said that they sometimes call people the day before to let them know a table has opened up (happened to me once at a different convention). I've also heard that they sometimes have tables to sell last minute to lucky first-come-first-servers who show up early Saturday morning when other artists cancel, or have to leave early.
So fingers crossed, I can still benefit off of someone else's misfortune.

Apart from that, I have Queer Comics Expo officially confirmed for next month, June 18th and 19th! Never been to this show, but I've met the people who run it. I have a feeling it'll be a great one.

Some good news to those of you who supported the Alphabet Kickstarter! Your copies should have shipped by now. As for when it will become available to the general public, I'm still not sure. But soon! Soon! This I can be sure of!

By way of Alphabet, I've also become involved in a gallery showing at the esteemed Cartoon Art Museum. Many creators who contributed to Alphabet will be displaying the original artwork shown in the volume. The official unveiling does not yet have a date as the gallery itself is still being organized, but you can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be blowing up your guy's feeds with info as soon as I have it.

Aside from that, Sac-Anime is the closest thing I have planned, and I don't wanna think that far ahead. There's a part of me that's actually kinda stoked about attending Fanime as something other than a guest for the first time in almost a decade. As much as I like doing business at the cons, there is something I dearly miss about going to a con just to go to them. This is especially true of Fanime for me, since, as I've mentioned countless times, that's my Home Con. It's the one I cut my teeth on. It was the first con I ever went to and the first con I ever legitimately sold at. I sold illegitimately once at WonderCon, but that's another story. In either case, I'm going to prepare like I'm gonna go to sell there, and I'm actually gonna try to get a table too, but barring that, I am going to just enjoy myself.
It is also of note that X-Men Apocalypse is coming out that weekend as well, so that should add an extra layer of excitement to this proceedings. I love when big movies open the same weekend as a big con, because the whole crowd is jsut simply abuzz with this shared experience. I remember the last time I experienced that was when Pirates of the Caribbean III came out. Me and a handful of friends went to the midnight showing opening night, and then went right to Fanime the next morning. When we were there, pirate regalia was in full swing. There was even a nearby construction site that hung a jolly roger from the top of a crane. It was a magnificent sight from the balcony of the main lobby (which is a main social hub at Fanime.)

Sadly, along with some of the exciting changes coming for this year, there will be sad absences. Many of my friends who were once staples of the show will not be returning. One of my closest friends is only going to be there on certain days. It'll be weird without them there, but i'm sure we will find a way to keep their spirits alive :D

Anyway, yeah, short update this month guys! Hang tight and i'm sure i'll have several dozen Fanime pictures for you in a week's time or so! Many hearts!

~Knave

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

COMING SOON: TRANSCAT ISSUE # 7


This is coming, friends! It is coming and there's nothing that can stop it. I guarantee I'll at least be finished making it before the end of April, so look for an early May release.

I am currently fighting my way out of a depressive state that's been hanging over me since late last year over the form of a health problem that quickly turned into a financial problem. however, now that tax season is over, I can almost safely say that this is behind me and dealt with. Unfortunately, my productivity in the interim was pretty much entirely sapped. That's not to say I HAVEN'T been working. i have been, but it's harder to find motivation and even harder to find my stride. Recently however, it's been getting easier, and I think a lot of that has to do with the weather getting sunnier, and the fact that the drama (and trauma) I was wrestling with RE: my health issues is mostly behind me now.

So here's a sneak preview of what's coming from issue 7! There are Simon & Garfunkel references, and science? Yes, Science! Science is gonna take a starring role in TransCat for a few issues pretty soon. I've been struggling to write the script for issue #9, which is not only going to be entertaining, but will also contain a lot of FACTS. The seeds for this story arc are planted here. Actually, they were planted in issue #3! Feel free to go back and reread that one! It's the sexy issue! The one everyone seems to claim as their favourite.

So anyway, yes, this cover! This fine cover was coloured for me by a newcomer in the TransCat circle! Ms. Warryn Evins took the reigns on this one. she was introduced to me through my friend Juniuper, who is becoming my new TransCat representative in Nashville TN and the surrounding areas (more on that later.)
In either case, Warryn did not disappoint, you can find more of her and her work O'ER YONDER! she does good work and I hope to work more with her in the future.

That's not all! Issue #7 will have a mini-story drawn by none other than Edgar Purviance. You will recognize him as the colourist from Issue #6 Edgar also helped me with the colouring for the short story I submitted to the Shuffle Anthology from Prism Comics (again, more on that later).
Speaking of Prism, the first anthology I submitted to, Alphabet should be coming out soon. I was asked not to name any specific release dates, but "Soon" was a good enough descriptor. Keep an eye on that website there if you want continuing updates on when and where you can snag this wonderful compilation, which contains not only one, amazing, exclusive TransCat story, but the works of literally dozens of other talented-ass peeps! For real, bros, scope this one out!

So as I said before, we are approaching the sunny season, and as we all know, the sunny season is also CON-SEASON!
I have lots of appearances planned out, and this time I'm a little bit more organized.
Here's what the schedule looks like so far:

May 27th-30th
Fanime (Wait List)

June 18th-19th
Queer Comics Expo (Waiting for Confirmation)

September 2nd-4th
Sac-Anime (Confirmed)

September 24th
Santa Rosa Comic & Toy Show (Confirmed)

September 30th-October 2nd
Gaymer X (Waiting for Confirmation)

October 8th-9th
Alternative Press Expo (Confirmed)

October 22nd-23rd
Sac-Con (Wait List)

So just a quick primer in case you don't know the lingo. "Confirmed" means i'm definitely gonna be there and I have a table. Wait List means I applied for a table too late and am waiting to see if I get chosen after cancellations. Waiting for Confirmation means i sent in my application, and they have not yet let me know if I have a table, or am on the wait list.
I'm pretty positive about Queer Comics Expo, Gaymer X and Sac-Con. I have a feeling I'll get in. Sac-con has a lot of time in between now and then, lots of time for people to drop out and free up space I could potentially take up :D
Queer Comics Expo is a small show put on by the Cartoon Art Museum in SF. Apparently they got a lot of applications, and they're actually trying to pair down artists who they feel would be most relevant for a show about queer comics :P I am confident that TransCat would fit in nicely there.
Gaymer X is a little bit of a wild card because it's a big show, but I applied super early so I feel my chances are good!
Fanime on the other hand doesn't seem terribly likely.
I spoke on this matter once before, but I'll recap here.
Fanime changed the way they selected artists for tables.
It used to be a very simple first come / first served kinda system, which can be hectic, but it's very fair. since Since Fanime is my favourite con, I always made sure I was up as early as possible, logged in and had all my info in order so that I could snag a table right when applications were open.
Three years ago, they changed the whole system. Now they give you a two week window to submit your application as well as a portfolio of your work, and instead of being first come / first served, a panel of judges decide who they want in the Artist Alley. This was meant to alleviate the stress of logging on first thing in the morning to make sure you got in, but I have to be honest, I don't like this system.
I was lucky enough to have been chosen the first two years, but i know so, so many super talented people that did not get in. This year it looks like I might not get in. So like, what standards are these judges even judging by? It's impossible to know. It seems more like applying every year will be a crap shoot, you might get in, you might not, depending on who is judging your work and what their own specific preferences might be. I liked it better when getting in was skill based and not luck based :P
BUT! On the other hand, I am certainly going to Fanime regardless. Like I said before, it is my favorite con. I've been going since 2001 and tabling since 2007. Maybe it wouldn't be such a tragedy if I didn't have a table for one year. I could go and really experience the con again! Might be nice!

So that's it for now.

I'll have some updates soon, so keep your eyes peeled, dear friends.

Friday, April 1, 2016

This Is How You Remind Me


It's no secret at this point that I'm a HUGE FAN of HEAVY METAL PUNK ROCK GOTH MUSIC! So I figured why not do a TransCat tribute to the most hardcorest band out there? I am of course, talking about NICKELBACK! Never before has a band so perfectly encapsulated my innermost emotions, and so eloquently captured my rage and pain and splattered it on the canvas in brilliant paint strokes of earsplitting thrash and chest rumbling bass. God damn this band kicks so much ass! Not only that, but they were an integral part of my childhood, and basically, thought listening to them, I was able to find my own identity in a world that I felt like I was lost in.

It all started one day when I was chilling at home, listening to a local underground hardcore radio station (106.7 KROQ BABY!!! WOOOOO!!! KROQ TILL I DIIEEE!!!!) and they were having some sort of contest, comparing new tracks that had recently come out. They'd play two songs back to back, and listeners would call in and vote on which ones they liked better. This was back in 2001, so no one had even HEARD of Nickelback yet! That's why they were being played on such an underground station, but when i heard those first few notes of "How You Remind Me" I knew I was falling in love for the first, and probably last time.

I don't remember it too well, because I think listening to the song sent me into some kind of euphoric, bliss filled catatonic state that I didn't snap out of until the song was over. I emerged a changed person. nothing would ever be the same again!
But then, as if to punctuate the glee high I was still coming down off of, the contender track came on! That piece of garbage song "Chop Suey" from that group of no-talent HACKS "System of a Down". I hesitate to even call them a "band" since all they do is bang on instruments and yell curse words. It was UNBEARABLE!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!! Every note was like a stab to the brain!

THEN! The moment of truth came! As the ear-poison faded from the airwaves, the DJ announced that it was time to vote! I KNEW the lines would be totally clogged because of all the voters who were eager to elevate this fresh faced new band to their deserved rank as "Punk Rock Kings" so I nabbed the cordless phone from the kitchen as fast as I could, disconnected from the internet, and dialed the hotline. I shivered with anticipation as the line rang.

I have to say, I sat in utter shock as I waited for someone to pick up the line, as I heard caller after caller phone in and vote for that horrific cacophony "Chop Suey" as the so-called "best track". Whatever man, what a bunch of sheep! Mindlessly consuming whatever's popular. Not like me, though! *I* was the free thinker, who DARED to speak the truth about how EFFING GREAT Nickelback was! The problem was these sheeple weren't even willing to give something new a chance. System of a Down had been putting out garbage since the 90's and these people had just grown "ACCUSTOMED" to it, so they were HANGRY FOR MORE! But when confronted by something NEW and ORIGINAL and FREAKING GROUND BREAKING like "How You Remind Me" they were stunned into stupefied silence. Instead of admitting to themselves that their minds were just blown, they became offended that their carefully placed values were being shaken up and challenged in such a way! So they lashed out! All while they clung viciously to the garbage music of their youth!

As i sat and lamented this sad, sad state of affairs, I realized that the line I was on had finally been picked up. The DJ's voice on the other end saying "you're on, caller, could you please turn down your radio?"
"Oh, apologies" I said as I switched off the radio, knowing the delayed feedback being picked up by my phone's receiver would serve only to confuse the listening audience.
"So" replied the DJ "Which track are you voting for? As if it's much of a contest at this point!" he chuckled smugly to himself, so sure that the trash he allowed to be played on air was going to win this contest.
At that moment, I summoned all my strength and power, and shouted into the phone as loudly as I could...

"NICKELBACK IS THE BEST BAND IN THIS WORLD AND IF YOU DON'T AGREE THEN YOUR LIFE IS WORTHLESS AND YOUR OPINIONS MEAN NOTHING! HATERS BACK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111"

A shock wave rippled through town as my proclamation traveled across the airwaves.
Phone lines shook, windows shattered, the very Earth beneath our feet trembled at the unmitigated power of the truth I dared to speak. It took a few moments for the intensity of what I had said to die down before I heard the DJ's reply.

"Okay, so that's one vote of Nickelback, and nineteen for System of a Down! Looks like Chop suey is moving on to the next round!"

I was devastated! Crushed! But even then, at my most desperate moment, I somehow knew my fight wasn't over.

I went to bed that night suffering in silence. I wasn't sure how i was going to face the world the next day, knowing that my new reason for living had been voted INFERIOR to a band I hated in a local radio call-in contest! But then, it happened!
A brilliant white light shone through my bedroom window and the sound of an enormous Rock-n-Roll engine revving up, disturbing demons from their slumber! I looked out my window, wondering what all the noise was about, and then I SAW IT!

NICKELBACK WAS THERE! Flying in a massive U.F.O. shaped like a Flying V guitar! Hovering outside my window!

Chad Kroger (The lead singer of the band, and heir to the mighty Kroger Supermarket fortune) walked across a platform that extended to my windowsill. I opened the screen and Chad knelt down to me.
"I heard what you said about us on the radio. We think you have what it takes!" He said, in his deep Canadian twang.
"What do you mean?" I said, nervously.
"You are going to help us spread the word of who much we rock! we are going on an intergalactic rock-n-roll tour and we need YOU to be our promoter!"
"I'M YER CAT!" I shouted excitedly!
Chad smiled. "I knew we could count on you, TransCat! But before we leave, there is one more task we need your help?"
"What do you need?" I asked.
"We need you to help us DESTROY THE ENEMIES OF NICKELBACK!!!"
It was then I knew I had found my calling! I eagerly agreed, and off we went on our rampage of mayhem and chaos! Those who would besmirch the name of the best band in the universe found that they had nowhere to run! Their blood flowed in the streets! Their women lamented them and wept! Their children were taken and taught how to love music THE RIGHT WAY! None were safe from our wrath, and the world was a better place because of it!

Now it's 15 years later, and I still keep up the fight! Nickelback has gone on to release several dozen multi-platinum selling albums. The musical landscape continues to change and grow at the whim of their influence. And where is System of a down after all this, you may ask?
Yeah, they're gone!
They knew they couldn't compete with artistic powerhouses like Nickelback, so they gave up the ship after releasing a measly five records that no one listens to or remembers. Hey guys, maybe next time learn how to play your instruments, right??

Anyway... Happy April Fool's Day!